


I WAS REINCARNATED INTO MIRACULOUS LADYBUG!

by KINKYyogurt



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: I have no idea of what am I doing, I'm just annoyed because of the lack of logic in it, Isekai, Just doing this for fun, Other, Parody, Swearing, don't read if you don't like swearing, just to be clear I have nothing against this show, lots of swearing, original character gets isekai-ed, reincarnated OC, she is a mess
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-06
Updated: 2020-04-01
Packaged: 2020-10-11 08:36:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 17,049
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20543228
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KINKYyogurt/pseuds/KINKYyogurt
Summary: Miraculous ladybug isekai. Ever wondered what would happen if a person with common sense were reincarnated as Marinette?WARNING: LOTS OF SWEARING





	1. Name's Jessica, hit by a truck, now my hair's blue.

''WHY THE FUCK IS MY HAIR BLUE?!''

I exclaimed after looking at myself in the mirror, which, mind you, was in a stranger's bedroom. I turned around trying to see if I could recognize anything when I noticed, it was too damn pink, why is there so much pink? Blegh! 

Suddenly, I remembered something...

"I WAS HIT BY A MOTHERFUCKING TRUCK!"

Oh my god, am I dead? Is this my punishment? Am I in hell? Because this sure does not look like heaven!

"Marinette, sweetheart! Breakfast is ready!"

I heard someone... wait, Marinette? What kind of name is that?? Is it Japanese? I heard footsteps aproaching and then a door on the floor (I don't know how it works, hell stuff I guess) opened and then a small asian woman appeared. Yep, this is weird.

"Oh sweety, have you not dressed up yet? You're going to be late for school!"

"School?"

"Yes, today is your first day!"

Yep, this IS hell. I don't like school that much... but the frist day...Hold on, I feel like I've seen this woman before... on... Disney channel? Can I get my intro? Maybe this is heaven, I've always wanted my own disney show!

"-nette, Marinette! Are you not listening to me??"

"Eh? O-oh! Sorry, what were you saying?"

Shit, I spaced out. Wait, why does it feel like I'm narrating a story in first person? Meh! 'S probably nothing too important. Oh yeah! Now I know where I've seen this before!

HOLY MACARONI CHEESE WITH GUACAMOLE! I forgot that my favourite wattpad author KINKYyogurt had published a new story before I died and reincarnated in Miraculous Ladybug as the main character Marinette.

OH MY GOSH. I DIED AND NOW I'LL HAVE TO WEAR SPANDEX! I'M JUST FIFTEEN, THAT'S ILLEGAL!

Oh well, whatever! At least I'm a Mary Sue that gets a reverse harem. That's more boys that the ones I've dated in my previous life, which is none!

OH NO I DIED A VIRGIN!

...

Ok, so... where the fuck is the school? Wait! That old man is going to be run over by a truck like me! I have to do something! 

And so I threw myself at the old man and saved the day.

...

Ok now, after getting lost for like ten minutes I'm finally at school. Now that I think about it, wasn't the old man a relevant character? Eh, guess I'll discover it later. 

Okay, let's go to school, to get bullied like the Mary Sue I am, yay!

So I am currently entering the classroom, which by the way is too clean and quiet for a public school. Hmm, guess I'll sit here!

"Marinette Dupain-Cheng." 

Said a voice with an annoyingly mocking tone with a pinch of irritating brat whose parents are rich and give their stupid goblin enough attetion. I raised my head to see her, OH NO. It's generic bitch one, Mary Sues' worst nightmare!

"Move."

"Why?"

"I'm going to sit here of course!"

"Don't want to. I came here first."

"You dare speak back to me, Dupain-Cheng?!"

"Emmm... Yes?"

"How dare you! You are a nobody!"

"And you are a bitch."

"WHAT DID YOU SAY?!"

"I said that I don't want to move."

"Do you know who I am? Who my daddy is?"

"Calm down Draco Malfoy's rip-off, no one cares about your stupid family!"

"My daddy is the mayor! He can make the school punish you!"

"Emmm, I'm pretty sure that's illegal, so if you don't want your father's career to go to hell, then you probably should speak to a lawyer before saying such things"

"WHAT?!"

"Listen, I'm not in the mood for your bullshit so I'll just move and pretend not to know you."

I got up from my seat and went to another one far away from cliché bitch number one, which made me question, where on earth is the teacher? Wait... why is everyone staring at me? IS IT THE BLUE HAIR?! I SWEAR I'M NOT AN ANIME PROTAGONIST...oh wait, I AM.

"What? Do I have something in my face?"

As soon as I said that everyone went away to their seats.

...

Okay, I need to stop saying okay. Okay.

All right, so this Alya chick is a super hero nerd and most likely my sidekick slash best friend. Right now we are walking while she's telling me some weeb stuff and something about a masked guy who doesn't like yogurt... Is that blonde guy putting gum in my seat?

"Oi! The fuck are ya' doin'?"

"Eh? W-wait! Its not what you think!"

"Oh really? Ya' think I'd fall for that bullshit?! Ya' cannot lie to an american ya' baguette bitch!"

"B-baguette?"

"Get out of the way!"

"Y-yes! S-sorry!"

Damn, who does that beautiful boy think he is? I mean sure, the guy is hot, I'll give him that, but no one messes with my seat!


	2. Magical flying thing meets dead girl

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The awaited continuation of the missadventures of Jessica, the girl who died and got isekai-ed!

So after the bubblegum incident class started normally... Wait a minute... those maths are from my textbook back when I was 13! Holy shit this body is 13!

HOLY SHIT I KNOW ALL OF THIS! I'M GOING TO GET A 10! FUCKING FINALLY!! I WON'T BE A DISSAPOINMENT ANYMORE!! FUCK YEAH! SUCK IT CRAPPY EDUCATIVE SYSTEM THAT...

"CRASH!!"

What the fuck was that? It sounded like a car being thrown trough the air? Oh my god are there japanese monsters attacking us?! I'm going to look trhough the window...

FUCKING HELL THAT THING IS UGLY!!WHAT IS THAT?!

Shit. Everyone in the class is going out. Why da fuck are you goin' out?! Ya' wanna die or somethin'?! Yeah this is most definetly a kid's TV show, people here are dumb as fuck!

...

So apparently the school decided it was best to send us all home. Great now my studies are gonna go to hell if monsters are gonna be appearing every single fucking day. Fuck my lif-ermh second life, fuck my second life.

"Ughh, now what am I going to do? I don't even remember how this chick's powers worked!"

Wait, when did that box get there? The colour is dark and the design screams plot relevant... Of course! That's where my powers are! 

And so I go and start opening the box.

"Aghh!!OH FUCK!MY EYES!! SHIT IT HUURTS!!"

Goddamit why did a strong red light have to appear?! Does the universe hate me?!

As I recover my sight I start seeing some weird flying... Thing.

"Hi! My name is Tikki! And I'm your kwami!"

"You're my what?"

"Kwami"

"Okaaay... So, emm, ya' gonna give some powers or..."

"Jiji! Let explain things to you first! There are some rules you ought to know first!"

"O-okay"

Wait a minute, why do I fell some deja vu??

OH NO. OH HELL NAH!! 

"Hold one you weird flying thing! I've seen Madoka magica and what tha kyubey bitch did with it's shitty rules! I ain't gonna fall for that! I ain't selling my soul to you so go find another girl!"

This lil' shit thinks she's so smart, but I know her true nature, I may be dumb but I'm not stupid!

"What? Selling your soul?! No! It doesn't work that way!"

"Really?"

"Yes"

"Why should I believe you?!"

"Because right now Paris is in danger and you are the only one who can save it!"

" That is still not a valid reason"

"But this is an emergency!"

"Not really my problem"

"But you LIVE here!"

Okay, she DOES have a point there. Still I don't really want to become a heroine. Heroes are lame, supervillains have better clothes, better weaphones, cooler hideouts, cooler catchprhases and STYLE.

"Ughh. Okay FINE! What do I have to do?"

...

Okay... damn I keep saying okay!

All right, so after what seemed like an eternity of usless rules and blah blah blah and a cliché "great power requieres great responsability" speech I'm finally going to transform!

"So, what do I have to say again?"

"You have to say: Tikki, spots on!"

"Isn't that dangerous? I mean what if someone hears me saying it? It's too obvious, they'll recognize me!"

"That is why you have to be really careful!"

"Yeah, that does not help with the problem at all"

I swear this is way too irritating! Why did it have to be a TV show? Why couldn't I go to hell like normal people? Does God really hate me that much?

"Well, whatever! Tikki, spots on!"

...*AN AKWARD AND RIDICULOUSLY LONG TRANSFORMATION SCENE LATER*..

Well that was uncomfortable. Why was the transformation so slow? Why did I do all this weird anime posses? Just WHY?

Anyways, so I guess this yo-yo thing is my weaphone.. a yo-yo. Seriously?THAT'S the best they could come up with? A yo-yo?What? How am I even suposed to fight with this shit? How do I use it? Mmh... Perhaphs if I try throwing it?

"HOLY MACARONI! Wow! Is the yo-yo's rope infinite or something? Wait, how do I unhook it?"

It was in that moment when I knew, I HAD FUCKED UP.

"WAHHHHHH!!!! What the heeelll!! HEEEELP MEEEE! I DON'T WANT TO DIE AGAIN!"

The damn thing retreated when I pulled at it and sent me flying through the air like a fucking ragdoll! 

If anyone is looking this, I'm sorry for whatever I did back in my old life! Please don't let me die! 

Is this what the team rocket feel in every pokemon episode? I have a newfound respect for them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so I have no idea why this is getting so much...hits? Oh well, thanks for reading this! I hope you enjoyed the new chapter!


	3. Jessica and cat-boy to the rescue!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter number 3! Our heroine flyes trough the air and meets a certain cat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I realized that Marinette was supposed to meet Chat Noir first and then Adrien, I didn't remember how things went in the origins episode so I hope you don't mind my little mistake. Thanks for reading anyways!

Hi! I' m Jessica and I am currently flying through the air to what I hope is not my second death. Yes, you read well, my second death. How I ended up like this?

Apparently I was run over by a truck and got reincarnated as the main character of a TV show called Miraculous Ladybug. The universe was kind enough to give me a second chance. And I HATE it.

Everything in this world is ridiculous! So far my first day has been awful! My retarded ass got lost for ten minutes trying to find the school which is ACROSS THE MOTHERFUCKING STREET. Then I got bullied by the tipical cliché blonde bitch, I swear that is offensive to blonde girls! It's always a blonde girl! Also, some hot guy put gum in my seat, WHAT THE FUCK MAN?! Next, a giant monster attacked and now I have to be the heroine and save Paris even though I am just thirteen and why the fuck do people always throw this kind of shit to kids?? Like, dude, they're kids, they are NOT prepared for this kind of responsability! Why can't they just get someone who is emotionally stable?

So, returning to the fact that I am falling from the sky and probably going to die before being useful...is that a boy with cat ears?

"Wahhhh!!! LOOK OUT!"

I screamed so the cat boy would catch me (I hope). He quickly turned around but before he could do anything I was already crashing into him.

"Uff!"

"Ouch!"

Ughh that hurt, but at least I'm not dead! Suck it universe, I'M ALIVE BITCH! 

"Are you okay miss?"

"Huh? Oh yeah, sorry!"

"It's okay! So I guess you are my super partner?"

"I guess, I mean, who else is wearing spandex and flying trhough the air?"

"Yeah your're right"

As we get up from the floor I get a better look at him, damn the spandex does not leave place for imagination huh? Too bad I'm not into furries. Judging by his height and his still-somewhat-high-pitched-voice he is probably around my age. I don't know why but I feel as if I have seen him before...

"Hey, have I seen you before? I mean, outside the mask?"

"Mmh, I don't think so miss! If I had seen you before I'd definetly remember such a cute face!"

"Oh my, you're quite the prince charming, aren't you?"

Oh my god, what the hell?! Why did he start flirting all of a sudden? Does he not know saying those kind of things is uncomfortable for girls? Dude, I don't even know you! Well maybe I do know you, but still! THIS IS NOT THE TIME FOR THAT!! I'll forgive him this time because he is just thirteen and doesn't know better, i just hope he doesn't become a love interest...

"Eh so what is your name? Mine is Chat Noir!"

"Ehh...Ladybug?"

"Well nice to meet you Ladybug!"

"Yeah, nice t' meet ya' too, So... should we follow the monster?"

"Yep! Lets go!"

And just like that he went by himself leaving me alone. Thanks for talking to me and trying to make a plan to defeat the monster, you are such a great partner, I don't know what I would do without you.

...

After managing to control the yo-yo, which is pretty much like spiderman's webs, I arrived at the stadium where the monster was trying to kill some kid from class. I saw cat boy fighting him and noticed that the monster seemed to get bigger with each hit he gets, I should probably use the...what was the name? Oh yeah! The lucky charm! It'll probably help me defeat that ugly rock!

"Lucky Charm!"

As soon as I said the magic words, a bunch of red and pink sparkles appeared and then an object fell into my hands. It's a... A SEX DOLL?! Oh wait, is just a weird inflatable....full body suit? I don't know what this is but, HOW IS IT GOING TO HELP?

"WHAT THE FUCK AM I GOING TO DO WITH A TOTALLY-NOT-SEX-DOLL?? How on earth do they expect me to fight?!"

"Hey! Miss partner! I could use a little help you know?!"

Oh, is the cat boy, he seems to be struggling with the rock...I should probably go talk to him.

"Hey! Ya' got a plan? 'Cause I ain't making any progress!"

"Mmh, I was thinking on trying out my secret power!"

"Well, the what are ya' waitin' for? An invitation?"

"Cataclysm!"

Cataclysm? Oh dear his power's name is worse than mine, that is an awful pun.

"Awsome! Now lets try it ou!"

"Wait! Don't use it in...!"

Too late, the dumbass had already used his power in a moment of sheer stupidity... This is why you're not the protagonist, Agreste. Yes, I just realized he is the blonde greek god from school. It was too damn obvious, I mean, who else has blonde hair with green eyes in this show? And also the voice is the same. Fucking DC's superman logic.

"Well, lets see how he likes this!"

"Oi! I told ya' t' wait! Listen to me goddamnit!"

And so cat boy died. Jocking, he only got hit by a rock, guess idiots can't die. 

"Well done Einstein! You just waisted your only-for-one-use-per-transformation-destruccion-power!"

"How was I supposed to know I can only use it one time!"

"Didn't your flying thing tell you the rules?"

"Eh... I may have transformed without listening to him first"

"What the fuck dude! Why would you do that! You could have sold your soul without even knowing it!"

"Sorry"

"Ughh, whatever! Now lets see if I can somehow use this sex- ermm inflatable suit!"

Oh! Lucky me, seems like I have a ladybug supervision! Got it!

"Okay, follow me cat boy!"

"Yes!"

...ONE INCREDIBLY UNREALISTIC PLAN THAT SOMEHOW WORKED OUT LATER...

So I have no idea how this whole thing worked out but I ain't gonna' complain.

"Ya' okay?"

I asked while approaching the boy to check up on him. Poor thing, he seems to be a cinnamon roll. I wonder what made him so upset he turned into a rock golem!

"H-huh? W-wha, where am I? What happened?"

"You were turned into a monster, but it's okay now, you're safe"

"Thanks eh..."

"Ladybug"

"Thanks Ladybug!"

"We do a pretty good team don't you think my lady?"

"Sure, it would have been better without the cataclysm fiasco but, good work cat boy!"

I said teasing him. Before cat boy could reply to me our miraculouses started beeping, alerting us that there wasn't much time left before we detransformed.

"Well, seems like we gotta' go, see ya' cat boy!"

And so, I left the scene without noticing a small purple butterfly getting away, flying freely into the skyies.

...

"Ahhh! What a day, man!"

I exclaimed as I dropped myself to be. Finally the first day of my new life is over, now I can relax.

"Well done Marinette!"

"Thanks Tikki!"

I got up and went downstairs to check if dinner was ready. Once I entered the living room I noticed Marinette's, ermm my parents watching the TV.

"What the-!"

SHIT. The TV was showing thousands of black butterflyes entering people's bodies and transforming them into rock golems. I have to ask Tikki about this. I ran upstairs as quickly as I could.

"Tikki! Everyone in Paris is transforming into rock golems, what do I do?!"

"Oh dear! Did you not purify the akuma?"

"Purify the what now?"

"The akuma"

"You mean those purple butterflyes?"

"Yes. If you don't purify it it'll multiplicate and akumatiza other civilians!"

"You mean I was supposed to catch it?!"

WELL, FUCK.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, there are two of us managing the account, because of that, we decided to call ourselves Mr. A and Mr.B. This story's first chapter is written by both of us, as for the chapters 2 and 3, I, Mr.B, wrote them. Hope you're liking this!


	4. Jessica saves the day... Again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Origins part 2. Will Jessica save the day again? Read and see!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the late update. I just started school and I've been too busy. Fortunately I could manage to find some time to write. From now on the updates will be slow. I won't be updating next week because I have history exam, so maybe I'll start working on the next chapter later.

Absofuckinglutely great. Apparently she had to purify the purple butterfly, apparently if you don't purify it the butterfly multiplies and apparently now there are randome citizens getting akumatized and turning into rock monsters that are sleeping until the 'leader'is alumatized again. The best fucking way to start your morning huh? Learning that you totally suck at being a heroine! Yay!

"Ugh, why did I have to get reincarnated? This all Alice's fault, she's the one that liked ladybug, she made me watch it! I hope that otaku trash is suffering..."

Oh well, I guess my morning isn't a complete disaster. After waking up I gained Marinette's childhood memories and all the information about her personal life and this world. Now I know how to cook like thirthy different pastries and I also know how to draw, sew and design clothes. Not bad, I even have good grades! I may start liking this Mary Sue thing...

As I walk to school I notice that... This version of Paris is way cleaner and more pretty than the one back in my world. Seriously there is no trash in the street, no homeless people, no 'protest marches' against the current goverment, Notre Dame is still fine (it didn't burn here) and the most incredible fact, the goverment is actually caring for the people. Wow. Bless this fictional land without corruption. Oh yeah and no global warming. It's as if someone put one of those beauty filters from instagram in the city!

<strike>I kind of miss looking at the tipical teenagers who are out doing illegal things like drinking or smoking or doing graffitys though... I mean it was entertaining to see how they ruined their own lif-</strike>

"Marinette!"

Oh is the superheroe-obsessed-wee err girl. Ehat was her name again? Oh yeah, Alya. Damn I need to get better at learning names, that used to be a bad habit of mine back when I was alive, I remember this one time where I was asked to say the names of the people that were with me the last year in classroom out loud in my new classroom and I totally forgot the names of two girls! That was SO embarrasing!

"Hey Alya! Good morning!"

"Morning girl! Did you watch the new superheroes yesterday?!"

"Ah! You mean that beautiful and gorgeous and brave and awsome girl in the red suit and the cat-boy? Of course I did! She was so cool right?!"

I definetly didt'n exagerate my already awsome features. Nop, I just said the truth, I'M AWSOME.

"I know right?! She was so cool!"

"You sure you don't remember anything?"

"Yeah, you went full crazy on me!"

"I'm sorry, I wasn't myself at that moment!"

Oh it seems like they are talking about yesterday...

"Yeah right! Once a monster, always a monster" 

"Ughh..."

Of fucking course the blonde bitch had to be there, damn poor kid, he must feel terrible about what happened. See this is why I hate kids, especially bratty thirteen year olds, ughh I really don't get why anyone would want to ruin their lifes by having children... Seriously even I am disgusted with myself... 

"Hey! What the fuck is your problem?!"

"Excuse me?"

The blonde bitch turned around looking annoyed at me, good.

"Leave him alone Chloe! He didn't do anything wrong, he was being controlled, it wasn't his fault!"

Oh yeah, did I mention that this bitch has been Marinette's personal bully for like HER WHOLE FUCKIN' LIFE. Ahh... I hate her, at first it was just the tipical I-don't-care-about-your-bulling-bullshit kind of feel, but since obtaining this body's memories... Well now it's personal.

"Well, if recal well he was the one who got controlled by his own pathetic feelings"

"And whose fault do you think it is? If mister I-love-being-an-idiotic-asshole-to-my-classmates hadn't angered him this whole shit would have never happened in the first place! But it looks like you are just too stupid to even get such a simple and obvious thing so, if you excuse me, I have to go make sure our classmate doesn't get fucked up by a villain, again"

With that said I went in the same direction as the boy. I feel like this is going to be a long LONG day...

"Hey dude! How are you?"

I say as gently as possible when I find him in the locker's room.

"How do you think?"

"Listen, just ignore Chloe, shes just a bratty bitch that loves being a bully. Her words are meaningless unless you decide to believe them"

"But what about the others?"

"Well if they decide to believe her the I don't think they are true friends, after all a real frieng will always believe you no matter what"

"...."

Well, he is not answering. Time to yse the trump card.

"You know, I think you should tell Mylene about your feelings towards her"

"H-how do you know about that?"

Oh you poor cute little child, after seeing Marinette's memories it was just too painfully obvious....

"I've seen the way you look at her and how tou behave around her, it's really sweet"

"Ughh!"

"Hey don't be so negative, I'm sure she likes you too"

No, seriously, this is probably gonna be for the plot's sake so you really have nothing to worry about. It's a kid's show, you are definetly getting the girl.

"Come on! You could try giving her flowers or sometin' "

"Maybe I could try writing her a song?"

"Oh yes! That would be great!"

"Thanks Marinette!"

The boy, Ivan, got ups and headed his way out.

"You're welcome!"

He! I really am a great person! What would they do without me?

***

CRASH!

Well fuck.

So I'm guessing the confession went wrong and now he is akumatized again. Fuckin' great.

"RUN!"

I scream as I go out of the class as fast as I can. I have to transform and quick!

"Tikki, spots on!"

I fucking hate saying that, seriously why do I have to scream this bullshit everytime I transform, I also hate the fucking sailor moon transformation sequence, like what the hell my identity is supposed to be a secret, HOW AM I GONNA KEEP IT A SECRET WITH ALL THIS GLITTERING AND FLASHY STUFF?!!

"Okay lets go!"

"Hey! Ladybug! Over here!"

Oh it's cat-boy! Good, he's just in time!

"Hey cat-boy! How is the situation?"

"Pretty bad, we're surrounded"

"Shit. Got any ideas?"

"Well I-"

"CAREFUL!"

I pulled Alya out of the way with my yo-yo as a car went flying straigh to were she was standing. Holy shit that girl needs to sort out her priorities, she's too irresponsible! But then again I'm the one who died y getting ran over by a truck... Still I know from experience that death isn't nice so I'm totally sclding her later!

"Are you okay?"

"Y-yes, thank you Ladybug"

"Go home. It isn't save out here."

"Yes!"

"Ladybug, we have to go, I saw the main monster kidnapping a girl"

"Lets go then!"

***

When we arrive at the Eiffel tower I realize that said girl is the blonde bitch. The major seems to be trying to negotiate with stoneheart, pfff! As if that is going to work...

"I demand you give me my daughter back!"

"Daddy!"

"YOU NOW WHAT? WITH GREAT PLEASURE!"

"WUAHHH!!!!"

HAHAHAH!! OH MY GOD THAT WAS SO GOOD, I CAN'T BELIEVE HE JUST ROASTED HER LIKE THAT! Anyways, judging by the look cat-boy is throwing at me I should propbably save her...

"Ughh do I have to?"

"Ladybug!"

"OKAY, OKAY I'M GOING!"

"PLEASE DON'T LET ME DIE, I'LL BE NICE TO EVERYONE I SWEA-!"

"Really? You better keep your word then."

"But I didn't swear"

This bitch!

"Oh my little princess!"

Aww how cute, father-daughter inconditional love, the only thing I will never know about 'cuz mine went to boy cigarrettes and never came back... Oh wait, I have Marinette's dad now, damn it's gona be hard to accept this whole thing...

"WE CAN START THE ASSAULT!"

"WAIT! If you attack he'll only get stronger!"

"NO! WE DON'T NEED SUPERHEROES!"

Are you fucking kidding me?! You are literally going against a GIANT ROCK GOLEM. Is he braindead or somethin'? I'M THE MOTHERFUCKING SUPERHERO HERE! I KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT!

"YOU'LL ONLY MAKE THINGS WORSE! LET US PROFFESIONALS HANDLE THIS! BESIDES YOU ALREADY FAILED ONCE!"

Oh so THATS how you want to play? That was my first day! I'll show you what I am capable of! 

"Listen here old man I-"

"GUAHH, COUGH COUGH BLEGHHH!!"

Stoneheart started coughing and the thousands of black butterlfyes came out of his body... GROSS.

"Ladies and gentlemen. Listen to me carefully. I am Hawkmoth."

"Hawkmoth? Is he the villain?"

"Ladybug. Chat Noir. Give me your miraculous, the ladybug's earrings and the black cat's ring, and everything will go back to normal, the people have suffered enough because of you."

"HUH?! What do you mean they have suffered because of us?? If I recall well you were the one who started this! So listen here and listen well, I AM THE GREAT LADYBUG, GUARDIAN AND SAVIOUR OF PARIS, AND I WILL NEVER SURRENDER TO YOU! MY YO-YO IS THE ONE THAT WILL PIERCE THE HEAVENS, NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS I'LL NEVER GIVE UP! EVEN IF THE CHANCES ARE ZERO I'LL KICK LOGIC TO THE CURVE AND DO THE IMPOSSIBLE! JUST WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK I AM?!!"

And so, after giving my awsome and totally not copied speech, I go to the Eiffel tower and catch all the akumas inside my yo-yo.

"PEOPLE OF PARIS, I AM YOUR HERO AND I SHALL PROTECT YOU FROM THE FORCES OF EVIL, SO BELIEVE IN ME AND HAVE HOPE! "

After saying that I release all the butterflyes in a white cloud that expans throughout the sky of Paris. HA! Victory for me Hawkmoth! Now I only have to save Ivan and purify the akuma. 

"Chat Noir! Let's go save stoneheart!"

"Yes!"

"Lucky charm!"

"A parachute? Why does this keep giving me weird stuff?"

"Woahh! Are you sure you can control you'r power?!"

"Eh well yes but actually no?"

"No offence, but that doesn't help!"

"Okay, let's do this!"

I throw my yo-yo to stoneheart and pull at it so Mylene gives him a kiss, then stoneheart drops her.

"Chat Noir, NOW!"

Chat Noir jumps from the tower so he can throw me the akumatized object.

"No more evil-doing for you liitle akuma! GOT YOU! Bye-bye little butterfly"

Now let's catch Mylene.

"MIRACULOUS LADUBUG!"

I scream as I throw the parachute to tha air and the thousands of sparkle magically repair the city. That is a pretty good power, I don't have to worry aout destroying the whole city like superman!

"Nice. Hey girl, I think you should read this, I believe that boy over there wanted you tu have it?"

"Oh, Ivan this is so sweet. I just couldn't understand your singing..."

"I'm sorry, I'll try to sing better next tim-"

Ivan couldn't finish his sentence since Mylene rushed to hug him. How cute! He looks like a tomato!

"Well, looks like my work here is done. They are perfect for each other!"

"Just like us-"

BEEP BEEP BEEP

"Too bad, looks like we have to go now. See ya' later Cat-boy!"

***

UFF! What a day I had, I think I'll never see butterflyes the same way again...

"Oh COME ON! WHY DID IT HAVE TO RAIN TODAY?!"

I swear my luck is too shitty for having the ladybug's powers...

"Hi!"

Eh? Ah it's the rich boy.

"I wanted you to now that... Last time, I was trying to remove the gum from your seat. It's true, you know? I never went to school before, I never had any friends. All this, for me, it's... It's a bit new."

He turns around and extends his arm to give me his umbrella, I am speechless... 

"Thanks" 

I say as I smile sweetly at him. He returns my smile and goes as I just stay in my place. That kid... maybe I should apologise tomorrow to him.

***

"Ahh, home sweet home!"

I exclaim as I drop myself in bed, I'm so tired... I close my eyes and think about today's events.

"..."

HOLY FUCK! Blond hair, green eyes and that voice...

"ADRIEN IS CHAT NOIR!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So the speech thing, for the ones who don't get the reference, Jessica quoted Tengen Toppa Gurren Laggan a really good and epic anime I love.  
...
> 
> Now that I have ended the origns episode, I'm going to jump directly to season three since I think is more interesting than the other first seasons, so next chapter will be like a long, long summary of season one and two, so there will be a lot of complaining and roasting from Jessica to other characters. As always feedback is appreciated and I hope you enjoyed the end of origins.
> 
> Did you all see the last episodes of season three? What do you think about the end?  
-Mr. B


	5. Phylosophical reflections about a death girl's new life

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jessica thinks about everything that has happened in those two first seasons of her life as Marinette.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, like I said I'm skipping to season three so here is a summary of season 1 and 2 as told by Jessica. Prepare for some trash-talking.

"Damn this year has been fucking wild!"

My name is Jessica and it has already been like a year since I died after being hit by a truck and first woke up as Marinette Dupain-Cheng in this messed up world. After everything that has happened so far I can only say that... I FUCKING HATE MY NEW LIFE.

IT'S AWFUL. I can NEVER have a normal day, for god's sake, why can't Hawkmoth just give up already?! Isn't he ashamed of losing every single time to a pair of thirteen year olds? What, did his wife die or somethin' so he wants to resurrect her? I hope not, 'cuz if anime and movies have thaught me anything is that resurrecting people never works unless you live in Dragon Ball. 

So, I guess it hasn't been that bad. I mean, I just get interrupted when I want to go out with my friends, and I also get bullied, and I'm kind of clumsy- well, at least this body is clumsy... Oh who am I kidding this is TERRIBLE.

After the whole thing with stoneheart Hawkmoth's attacks became frequent and repetitive, honestly it kinda started to get boring as fuck. It also got more and more harder not to murder Chloe, that bitch is literally the reason behind the ninety percent of akuma attacks in Paris! Why can't she understand that everyone likes her best when she shuts up? Seriously, how does her ass not get jealous from all the shit that her mouth spits? 

And lets NOT get started with the akumas... Why do they always have such goofy names and powers? What the fuck man? Who gets mad because the police told them it was illegal to feed the pigeons? I mean, if it's against the law you don't really have the right to complain... Besides, why would you even feed pigeons? Those things are basically winged rats! Eww!

Oh yeah, there is also a bad Justin Bieber rip off that sucks just as much as the real one. Damn, it was hard to fight against Jagged Stone. Thanks Mr. Rip off, you are an asshole.

Anyways, thinking about people, there is a lot to say about everyone. 

First Alya, she is my best friend, the girl has guts and I like that. She is the only one, apart of me, that stands up to Chloe. She is also Nino's girlfriend, they make a cute couple and I ship it HARD. The only problem with her: she is a terrible journalist. But I guess that is good since I need to keep my identity a secret.( Thank god she is blind and can't realize my obvious disguise)

Nino is also a good friend. He is also Adrien's best friend. That's good, the poor kid is just so lonely... Nino is probably one of Adrien's most important emotional supports. 

Adrien is Chat Noir. Chat Noir loves Ladybug. I am Ladybug. I don't love Adrien, well, not in a romantic way at least. I like him as a friend, I kind of consider him a little brother. I just get this feeling that screams at me to protect the precious child, he is so kind and sweet but, he is also very inocent and inmature, which is understandable because of his age but not good if he keeps acting like that in the future. People may eventually get advantage of his good heart, well it already happened, actually. He ought to be a little more cynical.

There is also his father, Gabriel Agreste. I hate that bastard, he is a terrible father- he is worst than my father! (the one from my old life) and that is saying a lot because mine went to buy cigarrettes AND NEVER CAME BACK. That man thinks is good to isolate his own son while putting the pathetic excuse of "it's-for-your-own-good". BULLSHIT. That is illegal, I mean, not letting your child have his own life and go out of home is considered abuse. I'm honestly surprised Adrien still defends his father, seriously the kid needs to learn to rebell against his father- just beause they are your parents it doesn't mean they always know what is best for you! I mean usually when a parent is that strict the kid tends to fall under depression or anxyety issues... 

Speaking of parents, Marinette's-err... my- parents are wonderful people. I feel so lucky to have them! Even though I sometimes still miss my mom from my old life, they are so kind I quickly feel better whenever I'm sad. They are always there to back me up even when I'm being bullied- specially when it comes to the blonde bitch and the liar bitch, Lila.

Ughh I hate them both! Chloe is such a spoiled brat, honestly, her father, the major, is a total useless idiot, WHAT THE FUCK WERE PEOPLE THINKING DURING ELECTIONS?! He is literally the worst candidate ever, he ABUSES his power in favour of her daugther, he can't do that! I swear if it happens again, next time I'm recording everything and I'll upload it in the internet so people realize how corrupt he is. I'm going to ruin that man's entire career!

But even if Chloe does get on my nerves, Lila is definetly worse.

She is such a fucking LIAR. I swear she lies so much that I'm actually sure that is a mental illness. What makes it even worse is that her lies are super fake! And my classmates believe them! This is another reason of why I hate young teenagers! Just, WHY DO THEY ALWAYS BELIEVE EVERYTHING WITHOUT JUDGING IT FIRST?! I mean, her lies are so radical they aren't even believable. And why do adults also believe her?? Shouldn't they, as teachers responsible for us minors, be more informed about students? I mean surely they have talked to her parents in the usual reunion with the families. Like what the fuck, how can you not know if your student has a disability or not??

Ughh! She even has one of the most powerful akumatizations of the show! Why do I feel she is gonna be one of the my main problems?

Another thing I hate in my new life: LADYNOIR FANS. Yes, they exist even in fictional worlds. Fans, cringy and crazy and obsesive fans. I know they ship me with Catboy, but I swear they are sometimes just too much... I don't even like Adrien, I mean I'm just not interested in having a relationship yet! But then again maybe they aren't the worst. No, I think the worst ones are the ones who are in love with Ladybug, like there was this man who created the statue of Ladybug and Chat Noir and I swear, he was like twenty something and I'm thirteen and it was like, HOW THE FUCK DO YOU NOT SEE I'M CLEARLY TOO YOUNG FOR YOU? I get it, I have a mask on, but come on dude! My height should be an obvious clue about my age, god even my chest is small! How does no one realize I'm a minor?? Or are they just trying to ignore it because they don't want to admit that they are being protected by a child?

Ah! Now that I think about it, there's this new japanese chick in town who is also rich-fucking fictional world, rubbing in my face how lucky other people are- I think her name is Kagami. She seems... I would say nice but then I'd be lying, she seems like a total weirdo, it's as if she has never had any friend-or general contact with people- and, why are rich kids so pitiful in this world? Seriously, the level of child abuse and terrible parenting between the wealthy people here is unbelievable!

Oh, and there is also Juleka's older brother who is super hot, and nice, and mature, and beatiful, and generous, and patient, and kind, and funny, and gentle, and smooth, and... did I mention that he was super hot? So, yeah... I like him. And I think he kind of likes me too? Thank you power of the main character!

There is also master Fu, he is the typical asian old man full of asian wisdom and tricks. He is teaching me everything I need to know about the miraculous and it's magic. He is nice, I like him a lot! He is like your cool old uncle! Oh, and speaking of the miraculous, there are also new heroes who are part of my new team! Alya is Reena Rouge, the holder of the fox miraculous and whose power is illusion! Nino is Carapacce, holder of the turtle miraculous and whose power is shield (I kind of expected him to look like a teenage mutant ninja turtle)! Queen B, holder of the bee miraculous and whose real identity is Chloe because character development! No seriously, Chloe may be a bitch, but she is a loyal bitch, plus she has actually been improving so much that I even feel proud of the little shit.

But, as new heroes have been born, a new villain has also arised, her name is Mayura and she is probably Adrien's father's secretary Natalie. How do I know this? Because Gabriel Agreste is Hawkmoth. How did I get to this conclussion? Because I found out Adrien had taken a book that had all the information about the miraculous that belonged to his father. Obviously he is Hawkmoth 'cuz plot relevance duh! Poor Adrien... Good thing he is too oblivious and didn't realize it! 

I also have a theory about why Gabriel is doing all of this. I think it has something to do with Adrien's mom who disappeared recently. Maybe he wants to use the miraculous to get her back? I hope not because, as I previously said, that shit never works. It would probably be better if he just moves on, goes to psychologycal help and maybe start a relationship with Natalie 'cuz is too obvious that woman loves him. And if I'm being brutally honest, she has a shitty taste in men, both Natalie and Adrien's mom. Seriously, how can someone ever love THAT THING?? Ughh! I swear there is not a single good thing I can think about him.

Speaking of love... Adrien is really popular, then again, he IS a model so I guess it's normal. What is not normal is Chloe's and Lila's behaviour, they are worst than your typical crazy fangirl, especially Lila. She is dangerous. 

As for my own love life... Well I also have a lot of fans. I think I'm starting my own little harem! There is Adrien/Chat Noir, ehh I think there is also Nathaniel (though I think he actually has something for that boy Mark, so I'm not so sure), and that one creep who made the statue of Ladybug and Chat Noir (Seriously, HOW CAN NO ONE TELL MY TOTALLY OBVIOUS AGE???), and Luka.

All in all, I think that maybe my new life is not so bad after all. Sure, I still have to deal with Hawkmoth's bullshit and Lila's bitching, but I have a good family, great friends and an harem! Oh yeah and my Mary Sue powers kind of made me a little famous so, FUCK YEAH!! 

I still miss my old life, but I also can't wait to see what is going to happen in this one. 

So please, let me start again:

My name is Jessica, I was hit by a truck and then reincarnated in Marinette Dupain-Cheng, this is my new life, and I wouldn't change a thing because I am the superheroine LADYBUG!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am BACK AND ALIVE! I finally wrote the new chapter after finishing with my exams. I hope you enjoyed the new chapter. As always feedback is very appreciated.  
I'm sorry, this chapter is probably not one of my best ones, but I promise that the next one will be better! Anyways, thank you so much for reading!
> 
> Edited version is now up.


	6. Jessica's christmas special episode!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ladybug's christmas special episode. Also all of the swearing is censored because it's Christmas!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Merry christmas everyone! I hope you are enjoying the holidays, here is a special chapter for this crhistmas, I hope you like it!

FINALLY! The best time of the year has arrived: CHRISTMAS! It'll be the first time I celebrate this holiday since I was reincarnated in this world, I'm so excited! Right now I'm currently walking to my house along with Alya and Manon.

"Oh Alya, this year's christmas is going to be the best!"

"Jeje, yup I agree with you girl!"

Hmm weird, I don't know if its because I'm too exited or maybe too cold from being outside but I'm kind of starting to hear.... music? Eh, it's probably just my imagination! There is no way people are going to stard just randomly singing to- 

"_ Merry christmas to aaaall"_

"Oh, hey mom, hey dad!"

S**T. They ARE singing. This is a chirstmas musical special episode, isn't it? WELL JOKES ON YOU UNIVERSE 'CUZ I REFUSE TO SING!

"Mom, dad, I'll help in the bakery to hand the christmas logs to all my friends!"

I say as I take one box and then turn to give it to Alya.

"Merry Christmas Alya, and to your family too!"

_"Thanks my BFF! The same to you three!"_

Oh dear God, are they really gonna be singing the whole day? This is so akward! I'm the only one who isn't singing, how come they're not weirded out?!

...

"Oh, Alix and your dad, Merry christmas to you!"

_"Tom, Sabine, Marinette! Happy holidays too!"_

And, they are still singing... yay...

_..._

"Rose, Juleka! Here!"

_"Merry Christmas to you!"_

_"Merry Chirstmas, Marinette!"_

Please, KILL ME NOW.

_..._

"Manon, merry Christmas, and Nadia"

...

"Merry Christmas, Nino and Sabrina"

Why is the music still going on? I'm not singing, please, STOP. 

...

"Merry Christmas Chlo- ehhh..."

Yeeaah, why is SHE here?

"Do you want a photo?"

Tsk! I ain't giving her anything! No way! I don't care if its Christmas! 

"Sure, I'll use it for vodoo"

"Marinette! It's Christmas!"

"Sorry, mom."

Ughh, great! I have to be nice to Chloe now!

"Merry Christmas, Chloe."

Ughh, is this how Squidward felt when he had to apologise to Spongebob? I feel dead inside...

"Could you repeat that? I couldn't hear you."

B****. Could be worse, at least they're not singing anymore...

"Merry Christmas, Chloe!"

I repeat with a forced smile that screams 'go kill yourself '.

"Chloe, it's Christmas"

Ha! Take that goldy locks! You're not the only one who's gonna have to say it!

"Ughh! _Merry Christmas, Marinette!"_

And we're back at singing... great.

"But I hate your guts, don't you forget!"

"Trust me, the feeling is mutual"

"Merry Christmas!"

_"Merry Christmas to all"_

Okay, I think that was the end of the song, thank goodness!

"Oh, Adrien's bodyguard... F***! The present! I'll be back!"

...

How could I have forgotten? I was supposed to have prepared something for that child! WHERE IS IT?!!

"It's here Marinette, see?"

"Oh, thank you, Tikki! I don't know what my retarded self would do without you! You are a life saver!"

Quickly I go back to the bakery just in time to see the bodyguard steping out of my parents shop.

"Hey! Emm... excuse me! Wait! Here, this is for Adrien! It's a Christmas present, could you give it to him, please?"

He doesn't say anything nut I guess that's a yes!

"W-well, thanks! And merry Christmas!"

And... he's gone. Man, that guy is weird...

"Ahh, I hope that kid has a good Christmas..."

...

"Check it out, Nathalie. Do you think he'll like all the decorations?"

This is the first Christmas since my mom's disappearance, I hope I can spend it with my father... Oh, looks like the gorilla is back.

"He should be down here already, did you call him?"

I ask Nathalie.

"Perhaphs we should give him, a few more minutes."

Of course, I would love to say it was unexpected, but it wasn't.

"What's the point? He's not coming."

I'll just go to my bedroom...

"Thank you."

I say to the gorilla after he gave a couplee of pats in the back and handed me a gift. Seriously, I don't know why I keep having hope, my father always seems to find the perfect way to shatter them... even in Christmas.

"Merry Christmas, both of you."

...

"He's still only thinking of himself! I hate Christmas! Plagg, claws out!"

My mom is gone and my father is just being mean! To h*ll with Christmas, I'm getting out of here! 

...

Huh, why does it feel like someone is out in the cold singing a song about being alone and sad in Christmas in a super edgy way? Ewww, just thinking about it is cringy...

Ah, now it feels like someone is poking fun at the edgy song by singing a version about having nothing to eat.

"Achoo!"

"Bless you!"

"Oh sweetie, are you okay? Did you get sick?"

"I'm fine dad, I think it's just someone talking about me!"

RING, RING, RING!

"Hello? Oh hi Nathalie, he was what now? Wair- really?"

"What is it sweetie?"

"Adrien has been kidnapped"

"Kidnapped? I'm sure there is another explanation."

Yeah, which is probably him scaping from his house after his father was a total d**k as always...

"Lets take a look around the neighbourhood, just in case. The presents can wait, you want to come, Marinette?"

"Eh, I think I'm not feeling so well papa, I'll just wait here at home and if I hear anything I'll call you right away, okay?"

Wow, he really didn't think this through, did he? I should find him before the situation gets worse, I don't feel like dealing with Gabriel's bulls*** today.

"Tikki, spots on!"

Oh for f***s sake, not the music again! This really isn't the best time to start a musical number...

"Ughh... Okay so it looks like cat boy tried to do something edgy like using his cataclysm to destroy this huge christmas tree, I guess, but then decided to instead not do it 'cus he's a nice kid?"

Oh and this seems to be the card I wrote so I guess he already opened my present... But-

"Where is he??"

Oh my god, can't the stupid music stop already?!! I'M NOT SINGING.

"I just hope no one has been akumatized..."

...

"Thank you for giving me advise, sir."

This man is so nice, I really needed someone to tell me my father loves me. Now I feel better!

"Ho ho ho! You're welcome kid! I hope you have a great Christmas with yout father!"

"How about you sir? How will you be celebraring Christmas?"

"Me? I have all of Paris! The whole world even! Ho ho ho!"

"All by yourself huh? Hey, how about you take me home and we celebrate christmas together?"

I mean, father would agree just this time, right? L-lets have some faith! 

"All right then! But I can't stay for too long. Santa has a lot of work to do, you know?"

"Thank you!"

...

Ding dong!

And we finally arrived to my house, I hope father isn't mad...

"Adrien?Is that you? And, who are you?"

"Ho ho ho! I'm Santa!"

"Yeah right, and that makes me the easter bunny. You're here for money, aren't you? Wait there until I call my body guard!"

And... He's mad. Way to go dad, you're being incredibly rude... And paranoic.

"No! You're wrong father!"

"Oh thank god you're all right!"

"Ladybug?!"

Holy s*** man, I literally abandoned my family just to find you and you are here, in your house?! Stupid teenagers and stupid Gabriel! That sh***y father better not create another akuma!

"So, care to explain what the f*** just happened? Where were you?? Do you have any idea of how many people are looking for you? Do you even know the huge problem you just caused?"

"Eh, well I-"

"You! Wait there, you're going to pay for kidnapping Adrien!"

What is Adrien's secretary talking about? And why does his bodyguard look so menacing?

"Nathalie! No! He didn't-"

"Kidnapping? You're crazy!"

"Huh? Aren't you just jumping into conclusions too fast?"

"Adrien go back inside! We'll take care of that man."

"But!-"

"Oi!, listen lady, I don't know whats happening here but perhaphs we should just sit and talk-"

"I didn't do anything! This accusation is unfair!"

"No buts Adrien! Go inside! Ladybug, please let us handle this matter."

"Santa, run!"

"Wait, WHAT?!"

What the f*** Adrien?! That must be the worst advise ever! 

"Wait!"

"The f***?!"

Well, now we they are chasing him. 

"Why did you say that??"

I ask as I turn to look at Adrien not knowing if I should murder him with an angry gaze or just stare at him with a confused one... Maybe both are fine.

...

"Ah... Without even knowing it, you're giving the best christmas present! Now, fly away my little akuma and evilize Santa!"

...

"Sorry... I panicked..."

Yeah, no s***.

"It's fine, I guess..."

Well, this is quite the uncormfortable silence that has fallen upon us...

"So... Do you want to enter or..."

"Oh! Well, no, I mean! Thanks but no, I'm just waiting..."

"Waiting for what?"

"You'll know in one, two... And three."

"LADYBUG!"

"And there he is"

"An akuma!"

"You should go somewhere safe! I'll rake care of him!"

_"You think you can get away with making fun of me?"_

"Oh, come on! This is ridiculous!"

_"You think you can get away with accusing me?"_

"Eww! That stinks, old man!"

He just poured some stinky weird green gas right in front of my beautiful face!

Stupid Hawkmoth, stupid evil rock-santa, stupid musicals, stupid world, stupid, stupid, STUPID!

_"I am Santa Claws! I'm a rebel with a cause!"_

"Seriously? A pun? Your villain name is a pun? Ughh... No wonder Adrien has a terrible sense of humour..."

_"I'll punish you and I'll give you a fright!"_

"Why me though? I didn't do anything!"

_"Have a horrible Christmas night!"_

Oh no! He's scaping!

_..._

"Hey, my lady!"

"Ah! Cat boy! Just in time!"

"Ready to save Christmas?"

"Heh, ya' bet!

"Who's going to deliver presents to the children now, Santa Claws?"

God that name is so cringy...

"There are no more presents! No more spirit of christmas! You should've been good!"

"Agh! I have been good all yeeeaaaar!"

"Chat Noir!"

That evil Santa just throwed a present to my cat boy and he fell! 

"Hang on!"

Wait! Why did I throw myself too? Oh my god I'm too stupid... I should have though about this better!!

"There! Now we won't fa-aahhh!"

Fu****! Santa Claws is moving too fast in his floating sleigh! I DON'T WANT TO DIE IN CHRISTMAAAAS!!

"How about a little sleigh ride, my little wretched elves? Ho ho ho!"

"Hey! Who are ya' callin' a wretched elf?! Ya' b***!"

"My! What a filthy mouth you have! Hold on! Here we go!"

"Waaaaahh!"

"AHHHHHH!! STOOOP I DON'T EVEN LIKE ROLLER COASTERS!!"

I think I'm 'gonna throw up...

"Don't you need a licence to drive one of this things?!"

"Are you kidding me?!! This isn't the time to be questioning the logic of this world, Cat boy!"

"It's time to open your gifts, kiddies!"

"Ugh! Listen, I'll try and stop the sleigh, you deal with Santa Claws!"

Good, he's fighting with Santa! Huh, never thought I would say something like that.

"Okay, calm down!"

I need to stop those... Deers? Or were they reindeers? Eh, whatever! 

"Ahhh! Ladybuug!"

Adrien is falling again?! Just how strong in that old man?

"Not again... Do I really have to everything?"

CRASH!

"Uhh... My everything hurts..."

I shouldn't have thrown myself from the sleigh again...

"Ladybug? Chat Noir? Now thats a Christmas scoop! Anything you'd want to say to the ladyblog?"

"Not now Alya! Cat boy, wait! Lucky charm!"

Please don't be something weird, please don't be something weird! Dammit! 

"A box?"

"I hope its not trying to tell us to move to another city"

"I mean, its not a bad idea... Anyway, I need packing tape, scissors and supplies! Ya' got 'em?"

"In there!"

"Thanks!"

"Here, go buy this things to the bakery! Then meet at the Eiffel tower, I'll explain everything there!"

It's impressive how I can manage to create such a complex plan in record time and under pressure. Yup, I'm awsome!

...

_"Santa your the winner. We stand down and surrender! We fear you have defeated us, so we give you our miraculous! But beforehand, here is a gift for you, 'cause on Christmas even you have a right to that too!"_

"A present, for me?"

_"Rebel with a cause! You gi_ _ve us so much fright!"_

Wow, who knew Cat boy could sing that well.

_"We all have the right to a present on Christmas night!"_

Well, guess its showtime!

"Surprise, motherf*****! Have a merry Christmas!"

You were expecting a present, but it was me, Ladybug! Who was inside the box waiting to be released! I'm a genious!

"Cataclysm!"

See, Hawkmoth? This is how you make an effective plan to crush your enemies!

"Merry Christmas my lady!"

"Thanks, Cat boy! No more evil doing for you little akuma! Time to de-evilize! Gotcha! Bye bye little butterfly! Miraculous ladybug!"

Finally, everything is back to normal. Now lets go back to my family!

...

"Adrien, you understand I can't have you disappearing like that. I couldn't bear the thought of losing you."

I messed up, I really hurt father... I should apologise later.

DING DONG!

"I think its for you"

For me? Who could it be this late?

"I informed everyone that Adrien was home safe and sound, sir. They were all very worried about their friend."

Nathalie you are the best. I love you! Please be my new mom! Everyone is here out my house's entry!

"Oh, please father! Its Christmas!"

"Of course, come on in."

"Brother!"

"Nino!"

"Merry Christmas, Adrien"

"Thanks, Nathalie!"

...

Well, now this is what I call a Christmas miracle, who knew Gabriel had enough heart to at least be considered to his son in Christmas? Just this time, I won't complain about his parenting methods...

Ah, the music again... Okay, fine! I'll sing, but only once! 

_"Merry Christmas to all!"_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed the christmas special chapter! As you may have noticed, I am going to start using other character's points of view. Since Jessica is changing the storyline of miraculous ladybug, I want to explore how those changes in the story will affect the other characters and their behaviour. Anyway, Merry Christmas to all!


	7. Jessica vs the two faced witch (aka Lila)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jessica and Adrien confront Lila about her lying problem. Things do not go well, but Jessica did try to solve this without violence, I swear! Ok, maybe she could have said it in a nicer way but, whatever!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'M ALIVE! Sorry for not updating since december! I've been busy with school and all the studying, this year I have to prepare for the university's entrance exams and is honestly a little scary... Anyways, enough about me, I hope you like today's chapter. This is probably something a lot of you have been waiting to read: the first fight between Lila and Jessica! Between those two, someone is definetly going to get hurt.

"UGHHH! I'M LATE! AGAIN!"

Seriously, this whole 'main character always comes late to school' cliché is just way too tiring! Why does every protagonist must be cursed with this useless ability?! Ughh I was even eating a croissant while running like a fucking Sailor Moon rip-off! This is embarrasing!

"Oh my god! PLEASEDON'TCLOSETHEDOOR!"

Oh god! I arrived just in time! Ahh... I think I'm gonna' faint from running so much... Huh? Why is Alya sitting with Nino?

"Hey Alya! Quick question: am I sitting next to Adrien? If so- thank you so much! You kniw how much I love sitting in front because I can't see from the seats behind-"

"Huh? What are you talking about, girl? Lila is sitting next to Adrien, you're going to seat in the backseat, there"

"Eh? The last one! Bu-but I can't see shit from there! I'm too small! I won't be able to take notes! And I'm going to be forever alone there since were not an even number! NOT FAIR!"

"Sorry girl is just that-"

"Well, Lila has a hearing issue so there is no way she could sit at the back of the class so she needed a place in the front"

"Eh? She does?"

"Yep, so to make it work Ivan moved next to Mylene, Nat sat next to Alex, besides she came up with the idea of Nino sitting next to me so we could soent more time together"

"Yeah, and I should just rott in a corner, right..."

"Hellos students! I'm sure you've already heard by now, but Lila is back from her trip to Achu and niw she is back at school with us again"

"Hi everyone!"

Oh god is HER. Also, Achu? Yeah thats not a real country...

""HI LILA!""

"Oh! A seat in the front, you all remembered my hearing issue! You're such sweethearts, all of you! Muah!"

"You have a hearing problem Lila?"

Yup, lets see how much bullshit she can spit in a row.

"Yes. I suffer from tinnitus. A constant ringing in my left ear, I have it ever since the sound of an airplane engine burst my eardrum on the runway when I was saving Jagged Stone's kitten"

Wow, well that really was a LOT of bullshit!

"Yeah, I ain't buyin' it, sis'! First of all, if you really had happened to be near an airplain's engine, I'm preetty sure you would end up with both of your eardrums blowing up and having a worse issue than just tinnitus since the airplane's engine has up to 120-180 dB's of sound and our eardrums are usually at risk with 90 or 150 dB. Also, there is no way someone would let you go running around the airport's landing track, that would be completely irresponsible of them and stupid of you. Plus Jagged Stone does NOT have a kitten, he has an crocodile"

How ya' gonna' get out of that one, huh bitch?

"Pff! Of course its possible to only end up with tinnitus, not everyone ends up deaf after that. Also they let go near the landing track because it was a private airport! Also Jagged Stone had a kitten before, now he has a crocodile! Anyways, you know the best part? Since you are such an excelent student you'll be able to help catch up with everything! Would you do that for me?"

Ughh! She is good! Also why the fuck is she ignoring me? Stop it bitch! You look ridiculous doing the "I'm-cute-so-I'll-just-blink-repeatedly-as-if-I'm-having-a-seizure-so-I-look-even-cuter" move. Blegh!

"Ughh! Miss Bustier! I don't want to sit in the back! I can't see the board from there!"

"Eh, my hearing and sight are good! I'll sit in the back of the class, and you two, can sit on the front! I don't mind"

Oh Adrien! You precious child! My saviour! Now the only problem will be trying not kill Lila...

"NO!"

"Huh?"

So she only wants to sit with Adrien. Well damn, this chick is worse than Chloe! Got no shame at all...

"M-my return is causing so much trouble, maybe I should've stayed on the other side of the world... If Marinette has an issue too, then I should be the one to go and sit in the back, its okay..."

Were did THAT came from?? Why is she suddenly creating a soap opera?? Why are you victimizing yourself, what the fuck?

""OHHHH! HMNN!!""

Woah! Why is everyone looking at me as if I'm the bad guy? Ughh, those godamned teenagers! I swear one of these day I'm going to murder these ungratefull brats! Well gues what? I AIN'T GOING TO GIVE INTO YOUR STUPID SOCIAL PRESSURE!

"WOAH! I'm gonna' stop ya' right there girl! First of all, you aren't causing any problems at all, didn't you hear Adrien? He has no problem with sitying in the back. Also as you said, we both have an issue with sitting in the back, all the more reason for us to stay in the front! You really don't have to go sit in there... Also could you all please stop looking at me as if I just insulted her whole family? Jeeze! Relax people, I just said I too had a problem... I too have a right to want a front seat!"

"All right then! Marinette and Lila will both seat together in the front! And Adrien you go to the backseats!"

Oi, is the teacher dumb or somethin'? I mean, first of all she should know "Achu" is not a real country. Also, how on earth is she not reacting to the obvious attack to my person and the desire to bully me that comes from my classmates?? Huh, guess teachers are usless when it comes to bullying even in fictional worlds...

"Ughh!"

"Yeah, I also think is nice to share seats with you too."

***

Dear god, today was soo tiring! And school isn't even over yet! At least we didn't kill each other...

"This is for you Lila!"

"Oh thanks! You are so sweet!"

"Here, Lila!"

"Here is your apetizer Lila!"

"I'lm fetch your dessert!"

"Thanks everyone. I'm sorry I can't carry my own lunch... Its almost impossible with the sprained wrist."

What are they doing? Oh dear, is worse than I thought. They have already become her slaves! Besides, a sprained wrist my ass! She doesn't even have a bandage for that one!

"Yo' that girl really likes to make shit up, doesn't she?"

"I don't get it, Marinette. You barely know Lila, why all the hate?"

"First of all, I do not hate her. I'm just pointing out her total lack of honesty! Also I once saw her with Adrien and, honestly, seventy per cent of what she said were all lies."

"You were eavesdroping on her and Adrien? Thats not cool, dude"

"A good reporter always verifyes her sources, can you proof that what she claims is a lie?"

"Alya, just google "Achu" and tell me if it's a real country. Last time I checked, that didn't exist. Also, I saw Ladybug scolding her for lying about knowing her. She isn't friends with Ladybug at all. Besides, did you really forget it was actually ME who got you that first interview with Ladybug?? And if you want proof from first hand, look. HEY LILA! YOU FORGOT YOUR NAPKIN!"

And the little pinochio has perfect reflexes! She caught it inmediately!

"See that? It's obvious she doesn't have a sprained wrist!"

"Ahh! Auch! Once when I was in India I witnessed someone getting their eye gouged out by a corner of napkin. If I hadn't caught it, this napkin could have injured Max. I didn't have a choice. AUUCH!"

"Lila! You saved my eye! You sacrificed yourself for me!"

"Anything for my friends!"

Uhhh.... Whats up with this development? No way they are actually buying it! I can't believe they are that gullible!

"Yeah... Just so you know, it is not possible to get your eye gouged out by a damn napkin. Our reflexes are actually faster, so even if the napking is thrown hard, our eyes would inmediately shut once the napking enters our vision field. Even if we only see a corner of it, our response is faster. Its unlikely that you would get hurt by that. "

"Shut up Marinette! We'll take you to the nurses office, please don't listen to her!"

"Are you proud of yourself? You hurt her!"

"Lila is in even more pain now, all because of you!"

"Please don't get mad at her, she was just trying to give me a napkin, right Marinette?"

Uh, no. I wasn't. My aim was definitely to proof you don't have a sprained wrist, unfortunately you all are a bunch of retarded idiots who just won't listen to reason or think for yourselves. Anyways, I give up! You are too stupid, goodbye!

"Ughh.... Whatever... I'm out of here!"

STUPID TEENAGERS. I swear they are dumber than your average real teenagers. At least the ones from my previous world actually had common sense... (Besides the ones from my previous world only did some dumb stuff like maybe skip classes sometimes or do stunts that could get them a broken arm.. Ya know, small things like that. Those ones are a whole new level of idiocy). Ahhh... I miss my old world so much right now.

*SLAM!*

"Marinette?"

What does she want now? She even followed me to the bathroom.... Is she going to treathen me?

"Oh no! Are you crying?"

"Does it look it? 'Cuz I'm not"

"I can sense that you don't like me. I just can't understand why? We barely know each other. Oh! Don't tell me is because of what happened this morning!"

"Well, it's not that I don't like you..."

"So it is! Of course! You were jealous because I was going to sit next to Adrien! You like him and would do anything to sit with him. You know what? Its not worth it to fight over a boy, you and I can be friends, and who knows! I might even be able to help you with Adrien!"

"All right, first, cut the crap. I know you like Adrien, obviously you wouldn't help me. Second, I am not interested in him, I don't like him, I genuinely have a problem with seeing the board from the backseats. Third, I do not want to be friends with you. I'm sorry, but sometimes, there is going to be people in life who you just won't be able to along with. Fourth, stop lying please."

"Heh! I only tell people what they want to hear"

Oh, so NOW she is going to show her true colours!

"Yeah, it's called lying!"

"There's nothing you can do about it anyway! People can't resist when they hear what they like to hear. If you don't want to be my friend, fine. But soon you won't have any friends left at all and trust me, i'll make sure you'll never get close to Adrien in class or anywhere. You seem to be a little less dumb than the others, so I'll give you one last chance: you're either with me or against me. You don't have to answer me right away, I'll give you till the end of class today."

"...w-wha..."

UGHHHH! THAT BRAT! What the fuck is WRONG with her?!! Fucking psycho! And why does she keep insisting with Adrien? I DON'T EVEN LIKE HIM! Bitch!

"Ughh! I thought Chloe was insufferable, but Lila is way worse! She is like a supervillain in training!"

Wait. OH NO. SHE WILL BE A SUPERVILLAIN, WON'T SHE?!!

"You mustn't let her get to you, Marinette!"

"Ughh... I know Tikki, I was just surprised by her threat, I mean that was really disturbing, specially coming from a thirteen year old..."

Aghh! I HATE HER!!

"Marinette! Look out, an akuma!"

"HOLY SHIT!"

Nop! No no no no no no no no no no no, NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

***

Ughh, stupid Marinette! That girl is good, I almost couldn't invent a convincing excuse to mantain my lie! Whatever! I'll just destroy her life if she keeps messing with me!

"Oh, hey Adrien! We have to figure out when you're going to help me catch up with all the schoolwork I missed!"

Well, time to play!

"I also heard you play piano, my uncle is a great pianist, he wanted to teach me when I was little, but I had to stop because of arthritis. But, when my wrist is better I'd love for you to give me some lessons."

Oh dear, here we go again. I just hope for her to stop touching my chest like that, it's unconfortable. Now lets say it in the nicest way possible...

"Oh Lila... I'm perfectly happy being friends with you and I'll gladly help you catch up on schoolwork. But, please, don't lie to me like you did last time with Ladybug"

Huh?! Damn it! I had fogotten about that insident! Ughh! Stupid Ladybug!

"Ladybug is the liar!"

Shit. She got angry! Lets try to fix this....

"I'm not judging you Lila! But instead of making friends you're gonna turn everyone against you. You can tell me if there's something bothering you, I can help, but you need to be honest with me"

Honest with him? ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! Why did he have to be such a goody two shoes?! PATHETIC!

"Are you trying to be some kind of superheroe by lecturing me just like Ladybug did? Well thanks but no thanks! Ughh!"

"I'm still here if you need help catching uo with your schoolwork!"

Aaand, there she goes... Well done Adrien you upset her and now she probably hates you. (Still, she didn't need to be so rude...)

***

"AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH! GETAWAYFROMMEYOUFUCKINGSPAWNOFTHEDEVIL! HEEEEEELP!" 

Run Marinette, run! Come on! I can't let myself get akumatized! FUUUUUCK!

"WHY CAN'T I FIND A GUN WHEN I NEED IT?!"

"Marinette! You need to relax! Akumas only affect people who think there is no solution to their problems!"

"Well then! I'M AWSOME! I'M HOT! I'M PERFECT! I'M A QUEEN, AND YOU CAN'T AFFECT ME, BITCH! HAHAHAHA!!"

Yes! The akuma is getting away! Ahhh... FINALLY! I can stop running...

"God I think I'm gonna colapse from all that exercise!"

"Good job Marinette! But we can't let that akuma run lose, you have to transform!"

"Ughh... Just give me a break! Tikki, spots on!"

***

"Ughh! I can't stand those super goody two shoes!- Ah!"

An akuma? Ha! Just what I needed!

"YES! Here's my chance! Come here akuma! Hawkmoth, I am Lila. I know you want to destroy Ladybug and so do I"

"Yes, I remember you"

"Give me some supervillain powers and I'll get you her and Chat Noir's miraculous"

"With pleasure, I have some new powers for you, Chameleon!"

"MUAHAHAHA!"

***

"Now where can that little shit be?"

Maybe I should just way until someone is akumatized, less work for me!

***

"Ah! Hey!"

"Adrien! I just wanted to apologise for what just happened, I've tought about it and you are right! I want us to be friends so I'll never another lie again, will you make peace with me? Muah!"

W-wait! I can forgive you, but please don't kiss me! I-

*PLAFF!*

"Ups! I lied!~"

"Zzzz..."

Now just waint inside here untill I'm done with Ladybug, sweety!

"Adrien?! ADRIEN!"

***

"Where on earth is the akuma? It shoul have akumatized someone already..."

"Nino! I have something to tell you! You don't deserve my friendship"

Huh? Adrien? What the hell?

"Or your girlfriend! Or your hat!"

"Hey!"

"Haha! You should see your faces. Don't miss my performance at the Eiffel tower! You're gonna love it!~"

Alright, that's Lila, ain't she? I'M COMING FOR YOU, BRAT!

***

First, she almost kills a mother and her baby, then she acts like a retarded kid throwing a tantrum and bothering people and now she is faking a suicide attempt at the Eiffel tower? Oh dear, this is too much for me! I want to retire and I just started in the superheroe business! I'm thriteen and I feel like a forty year old single mother taking care of three kids while working tens hours a day in a shitty job that underpays me!

"Ha! This is sooo easy! As soon as someone is in danger stupid Ladybu shows up! Lalalaralalala!"

"Adrien, STOP!"

"Woahhh! Help me! I'm losing my balance, I'm gonna faaaall!"

That was the worse performance I've ever witnessed. Yeah, I ain't catching her.

"Woahhh!!"

Ughh... I have to catch her, don't I?

"Got ya'!"

"Oh! My princess charming! You saved my life!"

"Woah, stop it! You are not Adrien! Don't touch me you freak!"

"You're right! I'm chameleon! You're getting better at this Ladybug! Good, it'll be more interesting this way!"

"Come at me, bitch!"

Okay, so she transforms into other people by kissing them, since she keeps trying to kiss me then I guess that must be it. Now the only problem is finding where tha akuma is... It's probably not in her current form. Damn it, this is going to be a difficult one!

"Shit. She escaped!"

***

"If this is a sleeping curse then what could possibly wake him up?"

OH NO.

"Oh no. Not a kiss! Please I don't want to play prince charming..."

"Mmh... Nobody will ever know..."

You owe me a lot of cheese, kid.

"Mmmm!!"

"Plagg? What happened? And what are you doing?"

"Uh! Me? Nothing! Uhh... Your friend Lila was akumatized, you should go help Ladybug. Come on!"

Thank the universe he woke up before I kissed him...

"Plagg, claws out!"

***

"Ladybug! I saw the supervillain running that way!"

"Thank you!~ IDIOT!"

Jeez, she could at least stop underestimating me! Her name is literally Chameleon. That gives away what her power is! Obviously I'm not going to trust a random kid who told me where the villain is when it's impossible to know who said villain is!

"My kid! WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO HIM, LADYBUG! Release him!"

"Wha! Miss I'm sorry, but this one isn't your son! That's-"

"Kiss me, Ladybug!"

"Ladybug! Look out!"

"Cat boy!"

"Zzzzzz...."

"Heh! Now it's only you and me, Ladybug! Cataclysm!"

"I'm going to stop you, Lila!"

"Wait, how did you know who I was?"

Oh no she is going to dicover my secret identity! Jessica, quick think of a convincing excuse!

"Uhh... Internet?"

"WHAT?"

Ah, I panicked.

"Whatever! I'm gonna destroy you!"

"I won't let you, you pervert!"

"DON'T CALL ME PERVERT!"

"Catch if you can, PERVERT!"

"Quick! Get Chat Noir's miraculous!"

"No! I want to get her first!"

How dare she call me a pervert! AGHHH!!

This time I'm going to win Ladybug. I swear I'll make you pay!

"Ha! You have nowhere to go, Ladybug!"

"I wasn't planning to! Lucky charm!"

Please be something usefull, please be something usefull, PLEASE-

"A t-shirt?"

"Hahahaha! Thats your secret weapon, Ladybug? Your going to kill me by dressing me in you tasteless style of fashion?"

"Tasteless? My sense of fashion is PERFECT, you uncultured swine!"

Fuck! She is too strong! I can't punch her!

"AGH!"

She got me!

"Good job, Chameleon. Once you put her to sleep you can just give me her miraculous!"

I need to find a way to defeat her... Ughh... Thats it!

"Give me your hand!"

*CRASH!*

"Waaahh!"

"Aaaahh!"

"Muah!"

"Here!"

I hope scallops aren't your favourite food, 'cuz you're about to experience what it feels to be eaten!

"Ladybug! Woah, is that the supervillain?"

"Yup! Now lets end our job! Waiter, if you wouldn't mind"

"Yes Ladybug, at your service!"

"Huh?"

"Mademoiselle"

"Thank you!~"

"Oh! The akuma is in the pearl! Now we are going to find out who she really is"

"Oh, it's Lila"

"Eh? You knew already?"

"Take this!"

DIE BITCH

*CRACK!*

"No more evil doing for tou little akuma! Time to de-evilize! Bye bye little butterfly! Miraculous ladybug!"

"Lila. Why don't we make peace?"

Please just accept them and leave me alone.

"Thanks, Ladybug. I'll be honoured to call you my friend!"

Like hell I'll accept your friendship! I hate you!

"Yeah, I'm happy to hear that. Let me give you an advice. You don't have to lie and pretend to be something you are not, people will like you just for being yourself."

In reality, they won't, people are just mean sometimes and she knows it. Bet she's just smiling to trick me into believing her... Right now, we both are cursing each other internally.

"You have my word Ladybug!"

Fuck you, Ladybug.

"Well then, se ya'!"

Go kill yourself, Lila.

"Bye, Ladybug and Chat Noir!"

***

"Ah, I sense a talent like no other in this girl. Lila will certainly be usefull in the future. Just wait, Ladybug. I'm going to obtain the miraculous!"

***

"Of course Ladybug saved my life! She never blah blah blah blah blah...."

"Ughhh, I knew she was only faking to be in good terms with Ladybug yesterday... Bitch."

Agh! So anoying! Well, whatever, I won't try to tell those idiots the truth. Sooner or later they will have to learn by themselves to be more critical of what they are told...

"Are you going to tell them?"

"Huh? Oh it's you, sunshine boy. I mean she is-"

"A liar. Yes, I know. But if you humiliate her, won't it be worse?"

"Yeah, I know. I wasn't planning to tell anyone, so rest assured, kid. But, if she ever hurts someone, don't expect me to play nice!"

"Of course. Besides, as long as you and I know the truth everything will be alright!"

"I'm not sure... But I guess that's fine for now"

***

I STILL HAVE TO SIT NEXT TO HER IN CLASS! 

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, that was the first chapter starring Lila. I hope you liked it! It had a lot of fun writing this one. As you may have noticed, I have started using other characters' point of view. I hope you understood when Marinette, Adrien or Lila were speaking in thoughts; if not, please tell me in the comments and I'll work to create a way to differentiate each character's internal voice so you can understand imthe story better.
> 
> Thank you for reading!


	8. Jessica in the kawai world

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Marinette, Jessica, or however you want to call our dear protagonist, is a super fan of animation movies! Follow her through an episode full of references and pray that we're not sued for copyright!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally, I was able to finish this chapter! Hiw are you all doing with the current pandemic? Where I live its already been a month of quearantine, all my hard work at school is almost going to waste... Anyway, hioe you enhoy the chapter! I had so much fun writing this one!

*She is scared of cats, but powerless withouth her feline*

"Oh my god! I HAVE MY OWN ANIME MOVIE!"

The visuals, the fluid animation, the beautiful character designs... ITS PERFECT. I can feel my inner otaku awakening...

"I'm not scared of cats though... Oh well, creative freedom I guess!"

*The real CatNoir and Ladybug won't be in the premiere, but we hope they like the movie as much as we love them!*

"Ah, such a shame I can't go, it's not everyday that you get your own movie... Oh well, I still haven't seen it but I already like it!"

"You turned down an invitation to the premiere?"

"I'm a superheroe, my job is to protect the city not act like a superstar... Or at least thats what I would like to say, in reality I just have a shit ton of homework."

"You really aren't the most responsable person, are you?"

"Hehe, sorry~"

*The premiere will be attended by Jagged stone, famous designer Gabriel Agreste and his son Adrien, who voiced Chat Noir for the movie*

"ADRIEN?! Is he stupid?! How can he be so irresponsible?! He is Chat Noir, what if people recognize his voice?"

Okay, calmn down Marinette, remeber that you two are the main characters, you have the plot armor in your favour, you are SAFE.

"Ughhh, still.... He is too careless!"

***  
"So, he have 600 macarons plus 800 cookies, not to mention the Ladybug and Chat Noir themed cakes"

"We sould have hired someone to serve all of this to the guests at the premiere"

"You need help with the catering? I can go if you want!"

"Are you sure sweetie?"

"Yup! Just leave it to me, papa!"

"And the fact that Adrien is going to be there has nothing to do with your offer?"

"Gasp! Mama you wound me! Of course not! He is just a friend, actually I'm more interested in meeting the director of the movie. I have always looked up to animators!"

"Okay, you are hired!"

"I won't let you down, promise!"

Well, looks like I am going after all. I KNOW I SAID I HAD HOMEWORK BUT IT'S TOO HARD! I'm sorry Tikki, but I really don't want to do it!

"So, I guess I have to wear something nice... Alright, lets see what I can find!"

"So, what about your homework?"

"WAH! Oh, Tikki, hey... Er-w-well you see... I have to help my parents 'cuz... 'Ya know... Gotta earn money to eat right? Hahahaha..."

"Uhuh... Sure."

***

"Now, look straight and stand like this..."

"Got it!"

Cool, my first formal job! I feel so responsable and mature! Is this what adulthood feels like? Awsome!  
Fuck, I stumbled!

"Woah!"

Ah shit. I'm going to fall, stupid main character embarrasing events that happen for the sake of the plot! CURSE YOU!

"Ah! Marinette, now she knows how to draw. Just look at this amazing sunglasses she made me!"

"Oh well, that is impressive!"

"Yeah, she even designed my album cover!"

"Ahaha, ah thanks, uh... Macarons?"

HOLY SHIT I'M FUCKING STUPID! WHY WOULD I ASK HIM IF HE WANTS MACARONS?! HE IS THE DIRECTOR OF THE MOVIE AND ALL I COULD SAY WAS THAT?!!

"Oh sure!"

The director extended his hand to take one of the delicious macarons suddenly Jagged Stone took it first. And the another person, and another, and another one, and another until there weren't any macarons left.

"Umm, I-I can bring you more if you want, sir!"

"Oh, thank you..."

"T-then I'll go..."

Ughhh, stupid, stupid, stupid! He probably thinks I'm an idiot!

"Aghh!"

As I go to the table were my parents are controlling the catering to take more macarons I turned around just in time to see catboy -I mean Adrien, entering the place while surrounded by a horde of cameras, flashlights and reporters. That must be tiring... Oh he's greeting me, uhhh right! I should greet him back.

"Hi!"

Know lets go back and try to look normal infront of the movie director...

"You are so lame! How dare you leave Queen Bee out of the trailer?!"

I'd recognize that annoying voice anywhere. Bratty attitude, blonde hair and expensive but tacky clothes? Chloe!

"Oh dear! What were you thinking hiring Dupain-Cheng?!"

"I didn't hire her!"

"You know I can hear you right?"

"Oh well, thats actually great! While I'll be here watching the movie with Adrien, you'll be there washing dishes! Hahahaha!"

BITCH.

"Oh, sir here are the macarons you asked for!"

"Oh thank you!"

Okay Marinette, this time make sure to give him a good impression!

"Eh, sir? I actually wanted to-"

"OH NO! NOT HER!"

"Oh for the love of...what now?!"

"Huh? Oh, it's you again... well I guess that could work... Do you know her?"

I look in the direction Chloe is pointing and I recognize that one japanese rich girl, seems like Chloe hates her, well I guess its not that surprising since I think the other girl likes Adrien too. Ha! Bet she's been making Chloe miserable by interrupting her time with the kid.

"You mean Kagami? Yeah I know her, why? You got somethin' against her?"

"I DESPISE HER! She is ALWAYS interrupting my time with MY Adrikins!"

See? Told ya'!

"She is so RUDE! AND ANNOYING!!"

"Yeah... I dunno, but something tells me thats because your kind of a brat sometimes..."

I mean, Kagami is also a lil' bit cold towards people, mix that with Chloe being Chloe and you'll have a ticking bomb.

"What did you say?!"

"Nothing! So... what exactly were you referring to when you said 'that could work'?"

"Oh yeah, THAT. Well, we need a plan"

"A plan for what?"

"A plan to separate them of course!"

"Why?"

"WHY?? What dou you mean why?! Are you dumb or something? That girl is a THREATH. She could steal Adrien!"

"You make it sound as if he were a doll or something..."

"Just! UGHH, Listen, if I'm going to lose Adrien to another girl, I at least want that girl to be you, okay? I have no intention on handing Adrien over to that Kagami girl."

"Wow, well- I guess I'm flattered but I don't know if this is a good id-"

"WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT BITCH DOING!"

"Huh?"

So, apparently Kagami saw us and decided to show herself as a 'worthy opponent' and hug Adrien's arm. Somehow her attitude is kind of bothering me, like, WHAT. THE. FUCK? Did she really need to do that? And whats up with that smug look of hers? It's on you little shit.

"You know, I cant believe I'm about to say this but, I can see why you don't like her. She is such an annnoying little shit."

"Totally! So, are you in or not?"

"Hell yeah I'm in! Lets show her whos boss here!"

...

THIS IS A BAD IDEA. I can't believe I actually let myself get carried away by my wounded pride. Bad Marinette, BAD! Chloe better have a good plan...

"So... What exactly are you planing to do?"

"Look, Kagami and Adrien are going to sit together in the theatre, the plan is to change that!"

"Okay, and we are going to do that by...?"

"By getting rid of Kagami before the movie starts! That way there will be an extra sit for you!"

"Wait, I'M the one that will seat next to him? No! No, no, no, no, NO! That is WAY to risky for me! I'm supposed to be helping my parents!"

"Remeber what you told me once Marinette, and I quote: all that takes for the triumph of evil is that good people do nothing!"

"I never said that-"

"Well today, the evil is Kagami. And WE are going to be the heroes that save the day!"

"This is definitely going to end wrong"

"Fine! Then keep being not sure about it and tomorrow Adrien and Kagami will be on an airplane headed to japan!"

"No way! He can't just go so suddenly like that! Your just overreacting!"

"You think? They are already going to the movies together., their parents are signing papers together!"

"Chloe, seriously, calm down! Your talking as if their parents were signing a marriage contract for their kids! They're just fourteen, it's not like any relationship people have at this age last much!"

Honestly, they would probably break up sonn if they ever start dating. I mean, I had some friends whose boyfriends broke up with them because they got 'bored' or some other pathethic excuse. Ughh... now I fell bad for Chloe, she really is just kid after all, isn't she?

"Marinette! SHE IS GOING TO STEAL ADRIEN!"

"Ughh... fine! I'll help you, but you owe me a big one, okay?"

"Yeah, yeah, whatever!"

...

"Marinette! Surely you won't really team up with Chloe?"

"Ughh, I know, I know! This is a terrible idea, but what do ya' want me to tell ya'? I guess I kind of have a soft spot for her? Ugh, I feel like throwing up, can't believe I actually said that... Come on, she is just a kid ya' know? And... I don't know.... I guess I feel bad seeing her so... distressed? Besides, I'm not really planing to actually succeed, lets say I'll just play my part and just follow the flow!"

"If you are sure..."

...

"Alright! Garbage bag, ladle and... What are those? I asked you to get some rope!"

"Sorry, I could only find was this cooking string... You're not planning on murdering Kagami, right?"

"What? Of course not! Anyway, lets start!"

Chloe takes my hand and leads me to a table where she proceeds to take a plate full of macarons that she puts inside the bad and then starts to fucking smash it as if the bag had insulted her and her family.

"Chloe! Those macarons were for the guests! Besides, we really shouldn't do this!"

I'm saying this, but I do have to admit that I'm kind of relieved that we aren't going to kidnap Kagami or murder her... Seriously the I was starting to get worried when she asked for the bag and the rope, I mean, that super shady!

"Listen Marinette! Of we don't sacrifice some of those macarons Adrien will be eating sushi for the rest of his live!"

"Okay, first of all sushi is NOT the only thing japanese people eat, what you just said is super insulting to their culture, they have a rich gastronomy with delicious food, and second, it would kind of be better if Adrien were to eat sushi for the rest of his live, jaoanese food is way more healthy than the one we eat!"

"WHATEVER! You better not screw this up Dupain-Cheng!"

"I want two thousand euros and a favour that you can fullfil later whenever I need you to"

"Deal!"

...

Forgive me mom and dad, but miney can be really tempting! I'M SORRY FOR BEING SO WEAK!

Well, here goes nothing...

"Woahh! Oh no, I'm falling! Help!~ uff!"

And, perfect landing! Just in the place we planed! What you gonna do now, bitch?

"Marinette! Are you okay?"

Adrien asks me as his hands reaches for mine.

"Eh, sure! Thank you"

"I didn't know you were here!"

"Oh yeah, I'm helping my parents 'cause they're short in staff..."

Come on Chloe, if you're gonna do it just do it quick!"

"Well, eh I think I should get going, so eh- see ya'!"

Oh god I knew I couldn't do this after all!

"What on earth was that?! Why did you go away?!"

"Sorry Chloe, I panicked."

"You?! Panick? No way! You are Marinette! YOU DON'T PANICK! You get angry and just say things with that sharo tongue of yours and say 'fuck it' even if the situation is hopeless! You are the one that laughs at danger! You don't care!"

"Is that how you see me? Of course I care! I may be straightforward and tell my opinion without sugarcoating but that doesn't mean I don't have my own problems to worry about! Not even I can be that fearless!"

"But-!"

"Kagami are you okay?"

"Huh?"

We both turn around and see Kagami looking at her shoe sole, it seems like she stepped in some of the smashed macarons that fell with me before.

"These shoes belonged to my grand mother!"

"Oh, now THIS is part of the plan"

"Somehow I have a deja vu feeling that tells me this is going to backfire into some specific romantic scene..."

I mutter as Adrien pulls a chair so Kagami can sit.

"Lets go, Dupain-Cheng!"

"Hey! Wait-!"

Chloe grabs my hand completely ignoring me and so, the part two of our plan begins. I seriously can't believe I'm still following her... Though, I'm a little shocked about what Chloe said about me before... Does she really thinks of me like that? Is that how she sees me? I didn't know... does she looks up to me? I'm not as brave as she made me sound... I guess I'm a little flattered... Perhaphs she is not that bad...

Oh, poor Adrien. He still can't find a seat thats clean for Kagami. I gotta admit, that is the perfect dick move Chloe. 

As I approach Jagged Stone with a stolen poster and ask him to autograph it, he places his piece of cake in a chair.

And so in a beatifully made and perfectly timed chain reaction, Adrien takes a chair thats tied with the cooking string and offers it to Kagami so she can sit on it. Then Chloe pulls the string that makes both the chair Kagami is going to sit in and the chair where Jagged Stone's cake is placed change places so Kagami sits on the cake.

And it would have worked if ot wasn't for Kagami's mither calling for her daughter. Goddamnit! We didn't take her as a possibility! 

"Wait! No, no, no, no, NO! Don't sit there!"

And... He sat there. The movie's director sat in the cake and now all of the little kids surrounding him are laughing! What did I do?! Now an akuma is going to come!

"Ughh! Fuck! It didn't work!"

"Yeah, I saw."

"What are we going to do now?!"

"Give up and call it a day? Like I said, it won't be the end of the world if Adrien sits with Kagami"

"Aghhh! Look at them! THEY'RE RECREATING THE SHOE SCENE FROM CINDERELLA!!"

"I knew it! My incstint never fails..."

"NO WAY! I REFUSE TO GIVE UP!"

"Chloe, wait!"

Once again ignoring me Chloe goes to where Adrien and Kagami are. That girl! She is going to make a fool of herself! This fictional world is designed to make her misserable! I hope it's not too bad...

"Adrikins!~ hey-"

"Wahh!"

And she was saved by today's akuma. Lucky her.

"Oh come on now, don't leave! The show is about to get started!"

Exclaimed the akuma as people started screaming and running away from the scene. I too, ran away so I could transform.

What the fuck. He transformed into a two dimentional cartoon godzila rip-off! 

That is probably the weirdest thing I've said in my life.

"I'll have to talk later with Clhoe...Tikki, spots on!"

...

"Ah, Chat! Over here!"

"My lady! How are you?"

"Oh ya' know, the usual: busy with my studies and wanting to commit murder 'cause personal reasons"

"That is... Nice? Oh, look! There is the akuma!"

Said Cat boy as we both landed in a rooftop.

"We would have come to your premier if we had known you'd be so upset!"

"Not gonna lie, I really wanted to come... Hey, just a question, whats up with me being scared of cats?"

"ROAR! You haven't seen the movie and you are already disliking it!"

"He does have a point, you know?"

"Shut up, Cat boy"

"Watch out!"

The akuma- I still don't know his villain name- shoot a laser beam towards us, thanks to Catboy we quickly jumped out of the way.

"Hey! I wasn't saying I dislike it, it was constructive criticism!"

I responded as I threw my yo-yo tying the akuma to the news' skyscraper.

"Oh it's ALWAYS about you, isn't it?!"

"Well, I mean, I AM the heroine of this city and the main character of the movie so..."

"SHUT UP! FROM NOW ON, EVERYONE WILL BE LOOKING ONLY AT ME!"

Suddenly a white, blinding light came from his body, forcing us to close our eyes. When we opened them, the akuma had become...

A GIANT JAPANESE MECHA?!

Oi, whats uo with those sudden anime references?? 

"What the hell?! MEGAMAN?!"

"Oh, you watch anime too, ladybug?"

"Yeah, I do. A friend kind of got me in..."

It was a traumatic experience. My frien Alice from my previous life, she bothered me and begged on her knees for an entire fucking month until I gave up and watched Neon Genesis Evangelion with, the ENTIRE franchise, movies included.

"Lets see how much you enjoy the true power of animation!"

Animaestre- thats just how I'm gonna call him- exclaimed as he sent a... lightning beam thingy or some shit like that. 

I jumped once again dodging his attack.

"Eh? But I already appreciate the power of animation!"

"This isn't fair! Why does HE get the power of anime? HE IS THE VILLIAN!"

Good question Catboy, I thought I was the one with the power of anime and gos on her side!

Animaestre transformed again and this time he took the form of a mickey mouse rip-off version from the 60s.

"Maybe I am the true hero!~"

"Ha! 'Ya wish! In this battle,the only thing I've seen you do is avoide copyright by making cheap rip-offs of popular animated characters! YOU ARE DEFINITELY THE BAD GUY!"

"GET BEHIND MY LADY!"

Screamed Chat Noir as he shielded me from another akuma attack.

"WAAAHHHH!"

Oh my god! THE ALUMA THREW A FLIPPING LITERAL BLACK HOLE! AND CHAT JUST FELL INSIDE IT!

"CHAT!"

Quickly I threw my yo-yo and managed to catch Adrien before he was completely swallowed by the abyss.

"Are you okay Chat Noir?!"

"Watch out!"

Again we dodged the attack, which was this time a couole of giant boxing gloves, similar to the ones you would see in a looney toon's episode. 

"How do you beat a 2D character?!"

"I don't know! Why are 'ya asking me?! I guess that maybe with his mask 'cause is the only thing that doesn't change"

"Okay. That makes sense. Lets go with that. The akuma must be in it."

"FEAR THE POWER OF CARTOONS!"

Screamed the now sexy-superheroine-main-character-looking villain. The style reminds me of Cartoon Network's justice leage series...

Those are way too much references!

"Yeah? Well, how about YOU fear the power of a real life heroe! Lucky charm!"

"A camera?"

I hate this power.

"Of course! Who better to make a movie avout Chat Noir and Ladybug than Chat Noir and Ladybug!"

"Take this!"

The akuma directed her green eye lasers towards us causing the floor below us to fall.

"Uff! He really doesn't take kindly to competition..."

"Ughh... My back..."

Ughh.... A ninja? Seriously?

"Aghh! A smoke bomb! Cough, cough!"

"Cough! I can't see anything!"

"Protect your miraculous! He could be anywhere!"

"MOVE!"

Chat pushed me before Animaestre could touch me.

"Everything okay down there?!"

"Huh?"

"Chat! Over there!"

We threw our weapones at him, unfortunately he transmformed into an angry bird and scaped. THIS FUCKING NERD IS GOING DOWN.

"Damn nerd! He scaped!"

"Weird. Why didn't he attack us when we couldn't see?"

"Lets check the camera!"

The video showed animaestre about to leap at us when suddenly the image seemed to freeze.

"Did you pause the video?"

"No. I didn't. Did you see him freeze?"

"No, I had my eyes closed!"

"Me too. Don't tell me... His weakness is freezing when no one sees him?!"

"What an useless power, I'm kind of dissapointed now. I was hoping Hawkmoth would be a little more competent than that, he truly sucks as a villain"

"Wow. Where did THAT come from? I thought murdering villains with worda was my power here!"

"What can I say, you are a terrible influence."

"Gasp! You were cold towards me! I'm SO proud! You are finally entering the dark side!"

"Hehe, anyway, now that we know how to defeat him we should go kick his ass!"

"Hell yeah!"

...

"Is that... A giant unicorn destroying the city with rainbows?"

"Why is he so weird? Hey, it won't be easy to stop him if people are watching!"

"The news!"

"Of course! You are a genious!"

"Kepl him busy, ok?"

"Sure!"

...

"Eveeyone, stop watching him! Just because he is sginy and colourful doesn't mean he isn't dangerous!"

I hope Ladybug's plan works!

"So? You're jealous of our success, huh?"

"You can play the zmart alley cat but once I have your miraculouz everyone will forget about you zoon enough!"

Well this guy needs to chill out a bit! Damn it! He transformed again!

"Goku? Is that you?"

Oh FUCK. That is a kamehameha he is sending me!

"AAHHHH!"

"Woah!"

Hiw many of those is he going to shoot?!! I look like I'm in one of those sgows were a charcater is tormented by anither throwing pointy stuff to him! I have to run!

"-its the inly way to stop him!"

"Haha! They can turn off theur TVs but there will always be one person watvhing me!"

"Sorry Nadia, but this time cameras are forbidden!"

CRASH! I broke the camera,now no one will be able to watch him!

"What is he doing now?"

"Ah, Catboy. I think he is doing the magical girl transformation sequence"

"Oh yeah,he does look like sailor moon"

"Do we hit him while he is transforming or..."

"Nah, lets wait for him. I like the transformation"

"Okay."

"OH MY GOD ITS GOING TO EXPLODE!"

"RU-WAAHHH!"

"Cataclism!"

"Everybody must watch animation!"

"I agree but you can't force people!"

"Please don't force them, its really traumatic"

"Give up! We are the only ones! Once we shut our eyes it'll be your loss!"

"NOOO!"

"Shut your eyes Chat!"

"And... Done! Your turn, my lady!"

"No more evil doing for you, little akuma! Time to de-evilize! Gotcha! Bye bye little butterfly!~"

"Miraculous ladybug!"

And so once again the day was saved by me and my partner and everything went back to normal.

"Huh? What am I doing here?"

Asked the director confused after being de-akumatized. I went to him picking up his identity card from the floor.

"Here."

"Ladybug and Chat Noir?"

"Yup! Thats us!~"

BEEP BEEP BEEP!

"Ladybug your going to detransform"

"Bugout then! Bye!"

...

"Clhoe! Wait! Please, DON'T DO anything stupid!"

"Stupid? Excuse me?! What does that mean!"

"It means that you shouldn't bother Kagami!"

"Then are you saying I should just let her take Adrien away?! I already told you, I won't give up! I refuse to be humiliated by HER! Now step aside you coward! The only stupid thing I did was to think we could be a team!"

Clhoe said while turning red of anger. She is truly concerned about this,tears are starting to form in her eyes. And the last she said, somehow it stings, it hurts my heart for some reason.

"You thought we could be a team?"

"Ughh, forget it!"

She said as she starts to enter the proyection room.

"Clhoe, wait! I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make you feel as if I don't care about your feelings... But trust me, trying to pick a fight with Kagami won't somve anything! I know Adrien is an important person for you,and I honestly want to help you... So please, lets think about all of this calmly okay?"

I said softly to her while smiling gently. Ah, I think I want to be her friend. She is so vulnerable... I feel as if she is going to break, I don't want this child keep being like this, I want ti helo her improve.

"Ughh! Fine! You better have a good plan by tomorrow at school, Dupain-Cheng! But don't get me wrong, it's not like I'm your friend or want to be your friend. You just haooened to offer help so it's a one-time-partnership, okay?!"

That

was

So

CUTE!

Oh my god she is such a tsundere!* 

"Hehe,sure thing Clhoe!~"

"G-great! Then, goodbye!"

"Bye!~"

Yup, I'm definitely starting to like her. 

"Umm, excuse me young lady."

Someone poked my shoulder.

"Eh, yes?"

Oh, it's the director.

"Here. Take my pass, its okay, I've seen the movie like ten times by now!"

"Eh? R-really?! Thank you so much! Ah, can you olease give me an autograph! I've been dying to ask you all day!"

"You know who I am?"

"Of course I do! How could I not know one of the best directors of the country! I love your works!"

"Why thank you! Here!"

"Thank you! It'll be a family treasure!"

...

"Awsome you could come here, Marinette"

"Hey, Adrien!"

This must be my main charcter luck in action. I got a seat beside Catboy! 

"Marinette? Why are you here?"

"Ah, Clhoe! The director gave me his pass! Now I too can se the movie!"

"That was nice of him... I mean, good! At least now Adrien won't be alone with Kagami. You're not so useless after all, Marinette."

"Aww!~ That was the closest thing to a compliment you've ever said to me!"

"S-shut up!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Tsundere:is a Japanese term for a character development process that depicts a person who is initially cold (and sometimes even hostile) before gradually showing a warmer, friendlier side over time.
> 
> I like the idea of tsundere Clhoe. Tsundere Clhoe is the best, change my mind! 
> 
> I will show the otaku side of Adrien later on, also as he said, Jessica is a terrible influence.  
She is going to teach this kids to actually defend themselves!

**Author's Note:**

> Ok so first chapter here! Hope you enjoyed it. Sorry if I made any mistakes while writting, english is not my first language. Feedback is apreciated as long as it is respectful.


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